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- Seedlings (23)
- 29/10/2009: Walk a mile in their shoes and let it go!
- 26/10/2009: Research Project
- 09/10/2009: Long absence
- 05/12/2008: Emotional Five a Day
- 24/11/2008: Families - who'd have them?
- 03/11/2008: Trust (part 1)
- 31/10/2008: Seasons and colours
- 10/10/2008: Perception
- 29/09/2008: Emotional Virus
- 26/09/2008: Moving house and moving on
But I’m always…. Are you really?
03/07/2008 by Tina.
Is it possible to always be anything? Not according to these guys, “No one can consistently get everything wrong. Such perfection does not exist.” (Introducing NLP - Joseph O’Connor & John Seymour)
For “wrong” you could substitute:
- at fault
- stupid
- to blame
- angry
in fact anything you’re “always” accused of. But the principle remains the same.
I used to hold the belief that I was “no good and to blame for everything” and it took me many years to challenge that belief. Looked at literally, that belief means I am responsible for Mugabe’s terrible crimes against the people of Zimbabwe and my father dying of lung cancer. It means I am to blame for HIV and AIDS and whether or not the sun shines.
Clearly I’m not, so clearly my statement is wrong. Too many times though we take ownership of these global statements without even thinking about what they mean. As children we had no way of knowing if they were true or not, so had no choice. But now as adults we do.
Have you really always been wrong? If (like me) you’re 43 years old, that means you have lived over 13 1/2 MILLION seconds so far. Now can you honestly say of that huge number there wasn’t at least a few, at the very least one, second of being right? If there were, “always” is out of the window. And isn’t it conceivable that if we have accepted without question the “always” label that maybe we have also mistakenly accepted being the thing we are accused of when actually we’re not?
I think it’s time we challenged these beliefs, not only about ourselves but also about others, for aren’t wrongly held global beliefs at the base of many atrocities and most discrimination? Let’s concentrate on the times, however few they may seem to be, when we are happy and responsible and good, etc. This way the next time someone says, “Your always….”, rather than just accepting it, believing it and so BEING it, you can stand up and say, “No I’m not!”
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Seed 11 and the importance of good words
30/06/2008 by Tina.
It’s that time of the year again! Wimbledon, with all it’s traditions, is back - lawns, rain, strawberries and unfortunately player bashing. And it seems the higher the seed, the worse the criticism.
One of the stars of this year’s tournament has been Chris Eaton - seeded at 661, the driver of a battered Astra and stringer of his own bats. How everyone has warmed to this underdog and what praise has been heaped upon him because of it. Not long ago Andy Murray was in a similiar position - up and coming; the future of British tennis - but now seeded 11 in the world (although 12 at Wimbledon) for some strange reason, people feel justified in taking pot shots at him.
On the TV on Saturday morning I heard a commentator slamming Andy for surrounding himself with positive, supportive people so early in his career.
You WHAT!! How can that possibly be a bad thing, whether you’re seeded at 11 or 589,632,004?
And forget that old saying, ”Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me” because in the course of revolutionary research, a Japanese scientist has found that what we consider to be “only words” can actually change reality:
“Dr. Masaru Emoto discovered that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed toward them. He found that water from clear springs and water that has been exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colourful snowflake patterns. In contrast, polluted water, or water exposed to negative thoughts, forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colours.”
More on this, along with pictures of the water crystals, can be found at www.whatthebleep.com/crystals and a Crystal of the Month can be seen at Dr Emoto’s site www.masaru-emoto.net by following the English link and then clicking on WATER CRYSTAL.
This being the case, what would you sooner hear? And shouldn’t we stop to think before we open our mouths to shout abuse at that complete stranger who just happened to get in our way?
Possibly more importantly, shouldn’t we also reconsider the way we talk to ourselves? Three quarters of the human body is made of water and far too many people are their own worst critic, running a continual, negative internal dialogue.
What would you sooner have your bodily water crystals be - brilliant and colourful or dull and incomplete?
I was warmed several years ago whilst in the ladies’ room of a local holiday camp. After washing their hands, mum picked up each little girl in turn and together they chanted, “Looking good!” And I bet they felt as good as they looked and grew to be confident young ladies.
So come on - let’s make those words positive and supportive ones, you wonderfully beautiful people!
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New beginnings in the middle
27/06/2008 by Tina.
You know how just when you think the lawn is neat and the weeds have been beaten into submission, a rain shower and a couple of hours of sunshine can put you right back where you started?
Well life can be just like that it seems and you have to start again, not from the beginning, but from in the middle. And sometimes that can feel harder. A blank canvas is easy, but what about when it’s already covered in the thick, brown sludge that simply won’t be covered with your pale duck egg blue?
That’s where EFU comes in. Now don’t get me wrong, I can’t stop the weeds from growing or the lawn from springing up 3 feet every time you turn your back, but after many years of working with and studying various therapeutic techniques, I can hopefully help you sharpen your mower and pour weedkiller on those pesky weeds.
So I invite you to join me as I share what I’ve learnt. Please feel free to comment on what I have to say, as the more gardeners there are, the quicker we get garden done and can sit back with a G&T and enjoy the view!
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