29/10/2009 by Tina.

I’ve recently been reminded that you can’t really know what’s going on with someone, and more importantly how that affects their behaviour, until you can put yourself in their shoes.

It can be very easy to make judgements, and let’s be honest - we all do it! But the trick is to be able to re-evaluate your judgement when you do know and move on to a greater understanding and empathy rather than to hold on to grudges.

I know it’s easier said than done and that we all have people in our lives that we just don’t feel able to do that with. But at least if we make a start with the less emotionally charged situations, we might get there in the end, and preferably before it’s too late.

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26/10/2009 by Tina.

I’m pleased to announce a research project being carried out which is based on the first of the Free Healing Lessons available from www.edensfields.co.uk/lessons - “In a sea of possibilities…”.

It involves a committment of just 30 days and is as uncomplicated as the lessons themselves. If you wish to join please email tina@yourhealingfriends.com for more details.

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09/10/2009 by Tina.

Sincere apologies for the extremely long time since my last post.

My interest in health has not waned, in fact, far from it! We are currently working on a new(ish) technique which is working really well. I say ‘ish’ because really it’s an amalgamation of techniques that are have been around for some time. We’ve just combined them in a new way.  But more on that later.

In the meantime, the free lessons are still available from www.edensfields.co.uk - don’t be fooled by their simplicity! Follow these simply techniques through, revisit them occasionally, and you’ll find you have a cornerstone of good emotional health.

Sante!

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05/12/2008 by Tina.

I listened to a very interesting feature on BBC Radio Four’s “All in the Mind” programme (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/science/allinthemind.shtml) last week about what scientists and psychologists believe really makes us happy.

And although many people may assume it’s money or material wealth, researchers have discovered we need a portion each day of each of the following:

Connecting with someone - loneliness has a devastating effect on emotional health.

Being active.

Taking notice and being aware - living in the moment.

Learning something new and challenging ourselves.

Giving something back.

I personally would add to that, spending time with positive and supporting people - we all know how draining a miserable person can be on our own happiness. Thankfully just like yawning, smiling is infectious

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24/11/2008 by Tina.

I think perhaps the messiest relationships we have are with our own family - under what other circumstances would you both love and hate the same person and stay in contact with them even when they drive you to complete distraction?

They say blood is thicker than water, but is it healthy to stay in a relationship with someone who causes you pain just because you share DNA? Would it not be better to surround yourself with people who support and love you for who you are, even if they are not family? I would argue that yes it is.

In the news over the past couple of weeks there have been 2 particularly horrific stories of mothers, one of whom had a relative hide her daughter whilst she told the nation of her despair over her loss. And why? So they could cash in on and share the reward offered for the child’s return. The other abused her son and allowed others to do the same, until the 18 month old boy was dead.

Both of these poor mights would have been better off with a stranger than the family who were supposed to protect them and didn’t.

In Prochaska, Norcross and Diclemente’s six stage programme for change (Changing For Good - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Changing-Good-James-O-Prochaska/dp/038072572X?&camp=2486&linkCode=wsw&tag=edesfieunl-21&creative=8922) they talk about the importance of environmental control, where you “restructure your environment so that the probability of a problem-causing event is reduced”. If you were trying to lose weight you’d probably make sure there were no biscuits and cakes in the house, and if wanting to quit smoking you’d stop buying cigarettes and hang out in smoke free zones. It makes sense to not put yourself in situations that will cause you problems.

So doesn’t it also make sense to remove yourself from a harmful environment even if it is within the family? I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do, or even that it has to be permanent, but:

“… if you have a splinter in your finger and it becomes infected, you can take antibiotics and apply antiseptic cream to deal with the infection, but if you don’t remove the splinter, it will undoubtedly become infected again.” (Free Healing Lessons, http://www.edensfields.co.uk/lessons.html)

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03/11/2008 by Tina.

(This is more of a musing than a posting as of yet.)

Trust - what is it and what do you do to get it back when it’s gone?

 My trusty Collins dictionary defines trust as:

“Reliance on and confidence in the truth, worth and reliability of a person, thing or faith.”

And we often talk about trust needing to be earned. But just how do you earn it and when do you know when someone has done enough earning? Can it be earned in the same fraction of time it takes to destroy it or can it only come with time?

I found some really complicated equations on google to do with weighted expectations and the clarity and delivery of said expectations, but nothing that will show me how to learn to trust someone who has repeatedly let me down.

 Hmmmm - more musing needed here.

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31/10/2008 by Tina.

I’ve decided my new favourite season is autumn.

Having taken a walk across the sports fields near to where I work on a bright, crisp day surrounded by the most vibrant reds and golds and yellows, I was instantly lifted.

Whilst it’s lovely to see the greens of summer, the striking bareness of winter and the emerging buds of spring, surely you can’t beat the beauty of the fall.

Perhaps it has something to do with the colours themselves, after all, red reportedly:

“… boosts our circulation, raises blood pressure & gets our heart pumping faster. It raises our libido, increases determination & gives us the will to move forward. It pushes us to break free from the past & demands that we live in the here & now.”

And orange/gold is supposed to enliven and cheer.

Certainly did the trick for me!

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10/10/2008 by Tina.

I was talking to a colleague today about perception, and just how wrong people can be when they view things with their own “personal perception” tinted glasses on.

Wikipedia describes perception as:

“…the process of attaining awareness or understanding of sensory information”.

This suggests a simple process of seeing/feeling/smelling/touching/hearing which leads to understanding.

But then it also states:

“The processes of perception routinely alter what humans see. When people view something with a preconceived idea about it, they tend to take those preconceived ideas and see them whether or not they are there. This problem stems from the fact that humans are unable to understand new information, without the inherent bias of their previous knowledge. The extent of a person’s knowledge creates their reality as much as the truth, because the human mind can only contemplate that which it has been exposed to.”

So no wonder people perceive things the wrong way sometimes, and I guess that’s why people with limited views are called small minded - they literally have little in there to create a reality with.

 Moral of the tale - have lots of experiences and gain lots of knowledge so you can be a big minded person when it comes to understanding your sensory information!

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29/09/2008 by Tina.

I’m not wholly sure I know what this means on a conscious level, but something inside me went, “WOW!”, so I thought I’d share it:

emotional-virus.jpg

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26/09/2008 by Tina.

We’re moving - again! This will be the 13th time in 22 years, so you’d think I’d be quite good at it.

Well I am actually - everything has a label and I’ve planned where all the furniture will go. But undoubtedly the best bit, and the most therapeutic, is the throwing away of redundant and no longer wanted things. In fact this time I think more will be recycled or taken to the tip than will go to the new house!

There is no doubt that decluttering your surroundings helps clear you mind, and it’s clearly big business if the many decluttering systems to be found by google is anything to go by. Mind you, no one seems to have twigged that if you buy a book on decluttering it’s just another bit of clutter for you to deal with

Anyway, having these “things” around you all the time acts as constant reminders, whether you’re consciously aware of them or not. And when it comes to the wiring of the brain, the more times the neurons fire (each time it catches your eye, you touch it or you think about it), the more “hardwired” they become, forming what Leonard A Wisneski (The Scientific Basis of Integrative Medicine) calls engrams, or engrained thought patterns. He says:

“The amygdala receives the incoming sensory information and checks in with the hippocampus to see if there is an engram associated with a memory to which the hippocampus can respond. The amygdala is scouting around to see if there is a match. It is somewhat like doing the FBI computer search for a fingerprint. If the sensory data is close, you get a hit.”

And from there the body responds with a cascade of hormones that affect your feelings. Now of course some things will have a pleasant engram/association and will spark off the feel good hormones, but others may not and you’ll find yourself feeling bad even though nothing has happened in the present. Basically your body goes, “Well the last time I saw/held/heard that I felt angry, so if I’m seeing/holding/hearing this again I should be angry now”. And it produces the chemicals to make that happen. Clearly bad news if you’re surrounded by things that evoke negative memories!

The good news is that when the neurons stop firing, the engrams can break down, so no future matches.

So order up that skip, toss out that rubbish, declutter your life and move on to better things. Less work for your poor old amygdala and more room for feeling good

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